Sadness, more than words can describe!

This week I had a unique and wonderful experience. However that's not how it started, just how it ended. I have taken a few days to reflect on it!

Over the past few weeks I have been working really hard with my children about keep their things picked up and maintaining our home. In the process I have tried to express to my children that they need to respect the things the Lord has given them. During these few weeks I have had to clean our home on a whim because we have had two phone calls from realtor's wanting to show it. Well to my dismay, both times I walked into my girls room to find STUFF everywhere. One of the times my husband encouraged them to dump all of their clothes in the middle of the room and they would go through it. Unfortunately the going through it part never happened. So I somewhat frustrated, went in and dumped all of their stuff on the floor into a box to sort later. At that moment I felt very unappreciated. I thought to myself, this is what I do all day, everyone makes mess and I am here to clean them all up. If you know me, it's really important to me to teach my children to take care of themselves, to respect themselves and their things, they are so blessed to have all that they have.

A few days had passed and I decided while I was really sick that I needed to clean and organize our office. Now this wasn't the smartest decision I must admit while I was sick. Our office is our JUNK room, everything and anything is throw in there. So I went through all the piles of papers and organized them into piles on the floor that needed to be filed. Cleared off the desks, and was shocked at how much I had accomplished. My husband came home and noticed my work, my children came in and noticed my work, however very little was said and within a hour everything I had done was trashed. All the piles of papers were walked all over and combined together. I was shocked that my husband didn't come in and tell the kids something special like,"look what your mom has done all day." or have them take care of the damage they had caused. He later responded, "it will only take a few minutes to clean up." That didn't go over well with me since it had taken hours to get to that point.

Now, I don't tell you all of this out of disrespect for my family. It's all about the lesson that I learned that I want to share. I must share all of this for complete understanding.

Well after all of this, I got to a point where I was really mad and then I was consumed with utter sadness. Terrible terrible sadness. It's so difficult to explain. Tears and emotions where overflowing. I felt taken advantage of, disrespected, and very lonely. I thought no one notices what I do, or even cares. I went and laid down on the couch to say a Prayer. Then this thought hit me."Is this how My Savior feels when I don't take advantage of the ATONEMENT?" HE SUFFERED FOR ME, HE BLEED FOR ME, HE DIED FOR ME. How does he feel when I don't pray for the things I have, or the things I stand in need of? How does he feel when I don't repent for my sins and come unto him? The Atonement of Christ is for so some many things, am I taking truly taking full advantage of the Atonement in every way?

He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows, He who gave Himself for our sins.

I come unto my Heavenly Father often, but I don't think often enough. I am grateful to be able to go through this lesson, this experience. It has helped open my eyes to what I need to do more. I am in no way a teacher, and I definitely don't have all the answers. As a daughter of GOD I feel as though I have a lot to learn and look forward to learning. I say all of this just to share. We may not all be of the same faith, but we all have the same LOVE and desire to serve our Lord and our Saviour, and that's something we all can learn from.