Some Monumentous Converstations!

My heart is jumping for joy right now!!! When it comes to Elijah our Son about how and why he was adopted we are very open to him and have been from a very young age. I have felt that he has been trying to processes a lot this past year. Like being adopted, having brown skin(as he says), being different from most people when he go places, and who his birth mom is and his relationship with her. I am now at a point to where I would like to share some of these experiences with you. Please understand that I know that the way we handle things may not be the way you would in your own home in your own situations and that is fine. I understand we all have to do what we know is right for our own family.

At Christmas time Elijah came to me broken hearted, with tears in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he was sad that he didn't get his birth mom a Christmas present. Oh I felt so sad for him. I calming reminded him that we didn't have the money for our family's presents and that some really kind people were anonymously taking care of us. I also told him that we didn't have his bm phone number or address since she had moved, so we wouldn't know where to send a present. This was the first time I had seen him so connected(in a sense to his bm). Just so you are all aware when we adopted Elijah we did so hoping for an open adoption however we quickly realized that his bm had emotionally let go and had no desire for contact or information. After that I took sometime to think about him and what he might be thinking and going through. I was questioning whether or not calling her a birth mom had confused him. I decided to be patient and to just keep listening to what he has to say when adoptions conversations come up.

Last month he thought his bm was on the phone and he wanted to know why I didn't have him talk to her. I knelt down in front of him and asked him what he would have said to her and he said,"that he would have told her that he really misses her."I asked him how he could miss someone he doesn't know? He said,"because she's my mom." At that moment I understood what he had been thinking over the past few months. I felt that he thought he had two moms and I believe he felt guilty for not doing the things he does for me for her. I explained to him that she was a birth mom(that her purpose/calling was to bless him with a body and bring him to earth. I told him a mom's job is to feed him, help him do his chores, take him to the park to play, to love him with hugs and kisses, and to teach him from right and wrong each day. I asked him if his bm did this every day and he said,"NO." I responded quite frankly with,"that's because I am your mom." I than asked him if it confused him when I call her birth mom and he said,"yes" and I asked him what he wanted to call her. He said,"let's call her *********",which is her first name. He said,"since she's not my mom that's what I want to call her." I never wanted to come to this decision on my own I didn't want to take anything away from her or from him. I knew if he was confused he would have to make and except that decision for himself. I couldn't believe the happiness and a sense of relief he had once he came to that conclusion. He went around for the next day making sure everyone knew what he was now going to call her. I really feel that for Elijah he only heard MOM in birth mom because the birth part didn't make sense to him(which we have gone over in great detail) but at his age he took what made sense to him which was mom and he felt so much pressure for not giving to her what what he gives to me daily.

In our home we are very open about how different we all are and we try to embrace our differences. We have explained that this is the way that our loving Heavenly Father made us. Well tonight I decided to sit down and ask Elijah how he feels about being different? I did so because it is so important to me to know how he feels. He first said, "I don't know", than I decided to ask the question differently. I said,"how do you feel when you walk in a room and everyone looks like mommy and daddy?" Elijah stood up taller and in a real loud and happy voice and said, "BEAUTIFUL!" I couldn't have been more happy to get this response. I told him I was so glad that that's how he feels. I said, "yes, you are beautiful", and then he said, "actually mom I am handsome." I reassured him that I love him so much for who he is, for his differences, and I am grateful the Lord blessed me with him as MY SON!!! I also went over with him how I love talk to him and if he has any questions about his adoption, about being different or if ever feels sad, mad, or lonely about anything that he can share that with me. I loved tonight, I loved talking with my baby boy who isn't such a baby. He is so special to me and I am so glad to know that he has confidence in who he is and how and why he is a part of our family. He was also really happy to recite to me his birth/adoption story to me, IT WAS GREAT!!!!

Enjoyed our time together!

Well me the kids took off on Friday and drove to California. The drive went real smooth. I had a ice chest with drinks, sandwiches and fruit so that we wouldn't have to stop much and it sure helped. We only stopped once for a bathroom break that lasted about 10 min. and then we were off again. It was great to get there and have the kids see there Daddy and for me to have my honey. It's amazing to me how a day and a half feels so long after being a way from Casey for a week. It's GREAT. We didn't do much, I was really tired this weekend. Casey had a meeting that he has to do on Saturday morning so he was so sweet to let me sleep in while he took the kids with him. While Casey went out and sold for about 1 1/2 me and the kids went to a really nice park right up the road from our apt. I have gotten to know another wife out there who's husband is also selling. It has been great getting to know April and her 4 kids. It's so nice to have someone else out there with us. Casey ended up making his sale and we all met for lunch. It was Casey and I and April and her husband Dustin and all 8 of our kids. Man the looks you get, I can only imagine as our family grows what it will be like to go to public places with all of our kids. I love it! We spent Saturday afternoon at the pool with the kids. There was a airplane show going on so every once and while we would get to enjoy some jets going over in formation. I was planning on coming home on Sunday but found that I was way to tired so I decided to rest and leave Monday morning. The drive home was not as smooth as the drive there. The t.v.'s wouldn't work and we had no snacks prepared so we had to stop alot and the bathroom breaks didn't end up coinciding with our others stops. Needless to say we were all really happy to be home when we pulled in.

Very SURPRISING!

I can't believe it, Casey's in California and I have had all the kiddos to myself and I still have had an UNEVENTFUL week! It's been nice. We have maintained school, t-ball practice and a game and the house is in order and we are half way packed for this weekend. THINGS ARE GOOD!!!!

I wish I had the cable that goes from your camera to our computer, ours is gone and I have some fun pictures of LIVY growing up so fast! Her favorite thing to do right now is stand. When she doesn't want to take her nap, she stands in her crib hangs her arms over the sides by her armpits and screams like crazy. She now has ATTITUDE. I walked in yesterday with her blankets and her binky thrown outside her crib onto the floor. She crawls all over the house. Yesterday she was in the bathroom with me as I was getting changed when I was finished I didn't see her anymore so I went to go hunt her down. She was in the kids bathroom and then onto the girls room. I am really going to be busy but I sure do LOVE IT!

OFF TO CALIFORNIA~

A huge change has taken place. Casey moved out to Riverside California on April 17th and will be out there until the end of Aug. He went out for work, he his managing a summer office for Siren Alarm and hoping to sell as much as possible to help us catch up from the last two years life's lessons. Me and the kiddos are traveling up on Fridays and coming home on Sundays. The time is short but we really enjoy seeing daddy. Halli and Camry will be done with school on May 21st so this will help us be able to have a more flexible schedule.

I am so proud and grateful to the kids. Before the summer started we sat them all down and explained what we were doing in great detail and why. We told them we didn't have a choice for this to work or not and that we really need this to be a family team effort. We explained that daddy's job was to stay and work in California and that mommy's was to stay and work at home and that the kid's job was to help mom in every way, being nice to each other, helping out with the chores and packing the car and most of all being as understanding as possible to the fact that we can't see daddy until the weekend. The first week was FANTASTIC they did all they could to help out and understand that daddy was working for us and that they wanted to help work for him in a sense, by keeping the peace and easing moms load. I know there will be times when we will really have to rely on each other and upon our loving Lord who has blessed us with this opportunity. I have told Casey over and over though, I am in the best possible place for this situation. Our neighbors and ward members are amazing and I know that I have so many wonderful people that I could call at any moment if I need help. That relieves me so much just knowing that.

Those of you who don't know Casey's job that he is doing now is just similar to what he was doing 3 years ago. He did that job for nearly 9 years and loved it. He was very committed, dedicated and hard working. So much so.... he was gone more than not. This time around however with the past 3 years having taught us a lot of FANTASTIC LESSONS it has brought on a lot of different goals for this summer than previously before and I must say that my husband has been the cutest ever. I have had many ask me how much we intend on traveling back and forth this summer. At first I would tell them that I would just have to see how much my kids could take in between visits, after this week I now telling everyone that I will have to see how much my HUSBAND CAN TAKE. He calls often telling me how much he misses us and wishes we were with him. I can really tell in his voices that he longs to see us all again, even hours after we have left. It feels so good to be LOVED and WE LOVE YOU HONEY~